A moment of silence

will never bee ~~

2011-09-15T09:32:00.000-07:00

She will never be the apple in your eye.

She's down ~
So dull ~

Its been awhile..
despite of the time being..
to you, she's not good in a sense..

It doesn't matter if ppl dislike,
the one and only person she mind is you..
Iss youu..

But the night just crashed.
She realized, she can never be the one you wish to have..
The one whom you've been dreaming of all this while..
She miss your kisses, your praise, your compliment,

Though she tried it so hard,
She has changed, to be different, to make u feel better being with,
Tonight, the dream just crashed..
Shes down.. She can never smile like before,
She knew she cant ~

She.
Knew.
It.
Deep.
Down.

No one will ever appreciate her. No one can feel the difference of her being her. No one can touches the inner her.

The Night..
This is the night where hearts broken and no one here to ease.

Pathetic her.

..

2011-01-03T05:58:00.001-08:00

Ive no idea if this happens on couple often..

Or is it only me..

While de other party's having wild fun..

the way they talk seems..

or maybe its me whos thinking negatively..

They somehow seems as if dey were rushing for something..

wanting to just hang ur call up n go off..

Is it that im embarrassing..?

Im annoying?

Or well,

they just kinda .. dis-remember u?

Friends around often says,

when one is around v friends,

as in

outing,

partying,

they will 'definitely' abandon their love ones.

And this isn't true love.

I never gt to understand this particular theory ..(all dis while)..

And guess what...

I just DiD.

Well,

i guess whenever im v friends..

ill excuse myself for making one or two calls..

whether to send regards,

whether to talk shit,

whether to just check upon dem,

Somehow, I will.

Argh..

Moodswing.. =(

Star.. wud u listen once again??

Hungrryyy...

2011-01-03T05:41:00.000-08:00

Hungry + Boring ..

Hmmm ...

I want supper.. Anyonee?

hmm..

Found no one.

Pathetic.

=((

=）

2010-12-24T14:17:00.000-08:00

好久没写部落了，睡不着觉的我，

此刻，也忘了怎么开始。

这是我沉闷圣诞节记事簿。

7：00 AM

25/12/01

不知不觉，又到了圣诞节前夕。

不知是我，还是外面的世界。

总是好像，搭不起。

总觉得自己离外界的一切好远好远。

好生疏。

朋友约在一伙庆祝着，倒数着

大家真的那么期待圣诞节的来临吗？

我不懂吧，为何自己总感觉无趣。

也许没人约吧。。哈哈！

人人口中都是那一句，“圣诞节快乐”。

圣诞节这天，人们就真的会过得较快乐吗？

也许身边没个特别的人陪同吧。

哈哈。。好像就只有我，讨厌大日子。

不是不喜欢

更不是不期待

只是，在大家都聚在一起庆祝，倒数的那同时，

自己却不知在何处，开着车，兜着兜着。

但其实，开心也不是，兴奋也不是，悲伤更不是，

只是想要让自己燃烧起来，

不想在家沉闷着，望着小房里的四面墙，

那感觉真的说不出口。

今年圣诞节，

决定不兜车，

就在家里，享受圣诞的气氛。

但不知为何

还是有一点点的沉闷。

可能是饿了，

可能是寂寞，

但更可能是家人都不在。

今年不想好像往年一样，

自己一个开着车，总希望看到烟花，

但没有一次是看到的。

或许是累了。

二零一零年的圣诞节，

会是我临去新加坡读书的最后一个圣诞节。

五年后，我想我再回到这故乡，也许一切都变了。

亲情，我家人（那根支撑着我的柱）我清楚知道我们是不会有一刻的生疏感。

至于朋友呢，知心的一支手指数得完吧。。又有谁会记得我。

但其实今年的圣诞节，有了五个朋友的真心祝福，

其实，我真的真的真的很满足了。

可能是自己很容易满足，

可能是我，

总喜欢活在一个自己小小的世界里。

可能是累了，不想太在乎。

朋友不需要多，知心的一个就够了。

可能想要自己学会坚强吧。

不想依靠他人，不向他人诉苦。

不想被人同情。

更不强求朋友的陪伴。

心事自己知就好。

问题自己扛就好。

自己一个其实也可以很好。。

爱情呢，不想说了。。（哈哈）

虽然我知道没人会看我的部落，哈哈。

但还是一样的，

在这，我小小的部落里，

心里希望大家开开心心的，过着每一天。

笑一笑，真的没什么大不了。

就算不开心也好。。

但其实，认真想想，自己其实是已算幸运的了。

我，是这么的想。。

7：20 AM

是时候睡觉了。

2010-09-01T10:49:00.000-07:00

走过了风风雨雨

看过了四次雪季

体会了无数领悟

转眼天一片黑乌

鸟儿都已归回屋

倒是我还在迷糊

人生抉择的道路

那条选择小巷路

是否有无限前途

夜里绵绵的小雨

心里都早已模糊

静静的无人诉苦

就只能默默求助

我岁月已二十出

却还是如此迷糊

不知往哪个出路

让未来足以漂浮

我期盼天使领悟

这是我人生之途

带我走出这小路

看见那一片瀑布

unspeakable me

2010-08-11T11:41:00.000-07:00

I thought , time could heal ones wound.

I thought , it is all fated as to depart from our love ones.

I thought , it is alright , so long as .. is pleased.

I thought , keeping myself busy could stop myself from remembering.

I thought , somehow , someday , things will fall in place.

I thought , nothing stays the same as time passes by.

I thought , chances and fate would come to me one fine day.

I thought , being the real me would make myself happier.

I thought , misunderstanding will divulge someday.

I thought , i will gain happiness if only i act like one.

I thought , it is more than enough to have no one other than myself.

I thought , i will be fine leading myself without any companion.

I thought , what matter most isn't companion, but myself.

I thought , i would never thought of being depress.

if only i have a listener here right beside.

If only

Someone calling me up

to at least send me their best regards

If only

Someone could touches my heart

If only

Someone sees through my mind

If only

Someone could understand me without me explaining

If only

I have a someone who will never misjudge me, from the very beginning

How i wish i could turn back time

I wanna be an infant

nothing to worry of

but

being bubbly , contented all time

insane me ...

2010-08-10T00:29:00.002-07:00

College ended,

New life started (GAMESS)..

I have no idea if im de one and only whos having such a thought,

'wanting to die'... ha ha ha ( well , it aint that funny after all )... =((

What am i thinking???

why am i hving such a thought.. (i'm thinking still)

i know, it sounded as if im a nuisance.

but truly, life ere has been reallllly reallllly meaningless...

Three specific schedule daily !!!!

1.sleeping

2.eating

3.playing games....

As it clearly stated **Ive no direction in life....

deep down...i know myself well, ( BEYOND WELL IN FACT ),

I know what i want,

as to continue with my degree...

as to continue degree in singapore...

as to start applying...

as to go for a body check-up...

and blahh....

Talkin upon on that...

BODY CHECK-UP...

ahhh.. (FED-UP)

im beyond obese...

how am i suppose to put off in such a short period of time...

in fact, i know im unable to...

thus, de only thing im able to do is to..."" ignore "".. hahah

Time passes real fast,

college ended for almost 2 weeks (if im not mistaken)

as ive mentioned earlier

my life has been really reallly pathetic

i'm now sort of like ...(friendless)

As ive predicted

that the end of college will somehow change my way of living

so called friends are no more friends

they too have their life to lead and to be worry on

and i bet i will not be as important as like their **TRUE FRIEND**

In fact, im not one of anyone's good friend... (okay, dis is a lil confusin) haha

As a conclusion...

friends around are absolutely (NOT SINGLE)

they have their ** cupid lying on...

and unfortunately,

im living de other way round....

YES *IM EXTREMELY SINGLE

*EVERSINCE DE DAY I WAS BORN*

LIVING IN MY so called -LITTLE LITTLE WORLD-..

no one can even feel me .... (HAHA)

Ive been watching movie all by myself thrice a week...

Window-shopping with me myself twice a week...

playing games every single day to spare my loneliness...

( guess thats y im here blogging )...

ive got nothing else better to do... SERIOUSLY !!!!

People might think this way , in which th bloggin is mainly to increase *popularity*,

encouraging their peer group to have a clearer picture on what he or she is up to,

Nah, to me, its more likely to be a free-space.. for one to fill up their boringness.

whereas to increase popularity

* we have here .. the FACEBOOK .. iznt it ?? XD

anywayyyyyyyyyy....................

i dont consider or to see myself that unlucky lah !

At least , i have my family members here accompanying me everyday XD

Love dem to bits ... !!

daddy buying me Nike shoe..

mommy preparing my meals..

sister playing games with me...

* missing my brother (down in australia)

they're my very 1st priority...

maybe i take no one else that necessary ... =)

Hmm..

ill be furthering my studies next year.. (january to be exact)..

Leaving penang behind * as a memory of mine *..

two years.. (SHORT RIGHT?)

haha..

how i wish i could just lead the entire life of mine in singapore ..

or probably NewYork... haahaaa..

parents being a PR in NY.. iznt it nice ? iznt it amazing? iznt it wonderful..?

HAHAHA .... =DD yeah, they did mention that previously ...

hopefully they have their commitment on path...

Wooouu... its now 5pm

Still i'm ere lying on bed... typing !!! ..

hmm.. guess thats all for now... bye rebecca lim ( haha , insane me , talking to myself )...

errrr... dont mind me... this is what happens when one falls beyond boredom...

haha okay .. thats all seriously !!.. haha

Chaoo

我不说

2010-07-20T10:11:00.001-07:00

情与爱…

它对我来说…

''我没勇气去触摸…

因为明白也知道

不会有人喜欢我''

也不想一错再错…

爱了，又被伤害

其实我泪伤有很多…

朋友

懂我的却没几个…

口中说想要单身生活…

外表坚强的我

其实知道自己很脆弱

朋友总以为我过得很快乐…

没有烦恼

天天微笑

但

你们不明了…

其实我的孤独

只能在夜里承担

我的悲伤

只有自己

能懂…

有时候想用歌声…

对你们诉说…

其实我真的很寂寞…

只是不想说…

说了又如何

只是不想说…

伪装自己的脆弱其实很寂寞…

只是不想说…

一个人生活只是种沉默

只是不想说

朋友你们陪一陪我

更不想开口说

其实我不说

是因为我没勇气看到朋友

为我而失落

my little little world

2010-07-19T07:03:00.000-07:00

Time,

(is conquering my mind)

Good friends,

(i guess its all a lie)

Buddies

(no one ever called up for a HI?)

Sigh

(none of you ever ask me why)

Loneliness

(is killing me inside)

Problems

(I found no one to rely)

Soul mate

(They are no longer mine)

Tears

(i tried hard not to cry)

Dilemma

(i'm puzzled all inside)

Stars

(could you read my mind?)

Sorrow

(i have you throughout the night)

College

(its time to say goodbye)

College friends

(thanks for cheering me up all the time)

[I guess, its time for me to decide..

Whether to stay or to say goodbye..

Im thinking..

Its ok for me to fly..

Since.. Im 24/7 unaided

True friends i couldn't find..

I hope,

I could learn to be a little more stereotype..

*friends are harsh,

ill always bare this in mind..

*people are unkind

ill keep this phrase in mind..]

站在矿场中央，感觉好孤单。

朋友的陪伴，我早就不期盼。

一个人入电影院，如常如常。

其实，我知道自己很坚强。

就如男人一般的不屑。

boring !! i wanna attend classes , i wanna go college !!!

2010-03-31T03:55:00.000-07:00

I'M

Boring . Rotting . Rusting . Dulling

so..

i did something childish (at home)

im being deadly bored to death

But the result actually shocked me out..

Its nice right? hahahaha..

Yes It is !

Im so proud of myself out of a sudden..

(haha) no doubt

as im good in writing my chinese name .. (waoh)

haha..

its so nice.. ahm *hungry hungry*.. feel like eating dem up !

*ps-my sistas, u guys are inside lerh* wou!

Beck

如果我不是女生

2010-03-29T12:07:00.000-07:00

如果我不是女生

如果我能够好像男生那样

那样的坚强

那样的为女生赴荡倒火

那样的体贴

那样的有安全感

那样的性格

如果我是个男生！

我好想

Beck.L

i'll wait

2010-03-29T01:06:00.001-07:00

(Wait For You) - Elliot Yamin

I never felt nothing in the world like this before

Now I'm missing you

& I'm wishing that you would come back through my door

Why did you have to go? You could have let me know

So now I'm all alone,

Girl you could have stayed

but you wouldn't give me a chance

With you not around it's a little bit more than I can stand

And all my tears they keep running down my face

Why did you turn away?

So why does your pride make you run and hide?

Are you that afraid of me?

But I know it's a lie what you keep inside

This is not how you want it to be

So baby I will wait for you

Cause I don't know what else I can do

Don't tell me I ran out of time

If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you

If you think I'm fine it just ain't true

I really need you in my life

No matter what I have to do I'll wait for you

It's been a long time since you called me

(How could you forget about me)

You got me feeling crazy

How can you walk away,

Everything stays the same

I just can't do it baby

What will it take to make you come back

Girl I told you what it is & it just ain't like that

Why can't you look at me, you're still in love with me

Don't leave me crying.

Baby why can't we just, just start over again

Get it back to the way it was

If you give me a chance I can love you right

But your telling me it won't be enough

So baby I will wait for you

Cause I don't know what else I can do

Don't tell me I ran out of time

If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you

If you think I'm fine it just ain't true

I really need you in my life

No matter what I have to do I'll wait for you

So why does your pride make you run & hide

Are you that afriad of me?

But I know it's a lie what you're keeping inside

That is not how you want it to be

Baby I will wait for you

If it's the last thing I do

Baby I will wait for you

Cause I don't know what else I can do

Don't tell me I ran out of time

If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you

If you think I'm fine it just ain't true

I really need you in my life

No matter what I have to do I'll wait for you

I'll Be Waiting.

*My words,my thoughts*

****************************

an oldies (back in the 80s)..

though,

when i were to replay it, i just couldnt stop myself from recalling

yes, i know im real stupid as to wait,

when ive already knew the fact that you would never come back

But dear, could you hear me ??

down inside my dream.. im screaming, im crying!!

when i say i love u , i do !!

whether its for now ,

or back then.

ive been waiting for years, im really tired,

but

baby

i will wait..

COULD YOU HEAR ME?? X.X

-i bet you would never gonna read this-

somehow, I will wait

if i were to spend the rest of my life waiting,

baby,

im still willing to wait

cause

I really Need you in my life....

COULD YOU HEAR ME???

COULD YOU???

could you....??

(if im not being left alone, i guess i wouldnt have thought that much)

I dont want myself to think of u !

because it hurts alot !

Ps : no one will

ever know

how hurtful

it is.

theres

always a

phrase

i say.

Im strong.

yess..

rebecca lim..

youre strong!

please Go on !

laa.. im bored..

2010-03-28T22:26:00.000-07:00

I see ''IT'' everywhere

I could feel the mood everywhere

I see the sign everywhere

I could sense the existent everywhere

Even swan wanna be in Love..Gosh !

Handmade LOVE board..? ma ass.. this is so fake...

i guess, its better to dig your heart out!

In Love ?? in the dark ????? oh yes, ure right !

candless?? saying i love u ? waoh...

i wonder how many do you need?

iznt it over-romantic?

Yes, Its all about L.O.V.E

-pathetic-

I just cant stand it...

well,

maybe oneday ill get to understand them..

but for now.. argh, i just feel like biting them! haha

to be frank, i guess im the one and only among my gang who's not in a relationship..

in whichever gang that counts,

whether its

my sista's group, my bestie's gang, my childhood gang

Omg..

this is so weird..

weird weird weird..

maybe i have a weirdo syndrome..

erhh erhh erhhhh!

OoOmMmGgG ! i wanna sleep - sleep - forever..

I don't wanna wake uppp !

Ps : dont wake me up

even when

september ends!

I dont wanna feel single.

Seeing everyone

in love.

I feel left out. Not good!

But i wanna

stay single..

tell me watta do?

Beck

up up uppp

2010-03-28T01:50:00.000-07:00

time is ticking too fast

i cant bear myself wasting any second out of it.

sometimes.

i can merely feel my soul.

i'm getting older and older.

and soon people around may start calling me a baby boomer.

as the end of me seems to be really near.

all i wish for is to stay on with satisfaction ,

and to live in joy, to feel pleasure.

likewise, people used to say, we , human must enjoy the dainties of a feast.

haha, though this may sound a bit awkward. I dont quite get the point though.

to folks around, who you all may be , it doesn't matter much , whether you are wealthy .

whether you are in poverty, whether you are outstanding , whether you are infamous.

as long as you're leading a merry life, what ever it takes , you're already that fortunate.

wondering.. does gorilla knows the fact that they're ugly , therefore people dislike them?

I bet : Deep inside their heart , they knew they were born ugly , some how , they're still happy.

ps : i wanna

be as like

gorilla.

knowing de

fact that

im ugly

yet

not feeling

uneasy.

Beck

开不了口

2010-03-26T10:15:00.000-07:00

人生是多么的有趣

有高兴的悲伤的哀愁的美好的

只是我

不曾有过好过的

朋友好友姐妹淘兄弟

谁都不曾看透

因为我不想把面具脱掉

一心只想要身边的人快乐

就算自己被叫小丑

只要身边的人愉快

悲伤留给自己无所谓

但此刻心里有

好多好多好多

好多

好多好多

好多说不出口的言语

渐渐的发现

我其实没有好友

没有知心朋友

没有什么都没有

我还有什么值得保留

我还有什么可以拥有

我还有什么能够念旧

我的世界就只有家人

足够的让我感觉被怀抱

其实我的快乐是真是假就连我自己也不再分得清

但我不会哭就算我很想很想哭我还是会忍住

因为我相信只要我离开马来西亚什么都好都将会是过去

还有半年的时间我还在等待等待彩虹的出现

心里知道外国会是个独立自我的生活

而那也是我希望拥有的生活

也不必看到一些假人的脸色

绕在说我是个小丑的朋友的身边

绕在不是真心对待我的朋友身边

离开这无人理我的范围

我的知己。。您在哪里？

2010-03-26T09:13:00.000-07:00

心事是种压抑

就算我想分享又有谁愿意聆听

就算聆听了我的心声又有谁真正能够体会到我的心情

就算体会到我的内心又有谁愿意伸出援手帮我解决

一旦日子久了沉默也会慢慢的变成一种习惯

习惯把所有所有的悲伤放在心上

很勉强的在朋友家人前伪装来掩饰一切一切的悲伤

但试着想想又有谁会一辈子想要一个人面对难题的呢

每晚临睡前总会祈祷着希望老天爷能够听到我的心声

但老天爷又是否真正的会听到

世界那么的大我却是那么那么的渺小躲在一个谁也看不到的角落

我想在我不快乐的同时还有许多许多和我一样的人

很渴望拥有温暖拥有安全感拥有个伴

让自己不再孤单让自己不再忧伤让自己至少有个人陪伴

开心时一起分享伤心时有个人说说笑话再也不需伪装

老天爷您又是否真的听到

守护天使您又是否真的存在

Beck

their stories -

2010-03-26T04:44:00.000-07:00

Just For You To Know

I find it really touching

Somehow, this is life, as life will never ever be fair to every single individual.

Thus, be glad , appreciate what you have & always count your blessings.

Becky.L

等候。沉默

2010-03-16T22:25:00.000-07:00

时间久了。渐渐的。我也忘了其实我也值得被关心。

我。期盼。拥抱温柔。

我。一路。走。也开始不再记得，伤口明明是痛的，但不知要怎么开口。

漫长的寂寞。只好自己忍受。

原来。等候让人特别的失落。

期待。

还有谁能够紧握着我的手。

又有谁？

愿意。

陪着我期待消失的彩虹。

又是谁。

能够带我走。走出这哀愁。

渐渐的。我。也。忘了。

其实。我。也配被人在意。

我。期盼。拥抱温柔。

我。

一路。走。

到。如今。也忘了何时

何时曾被拥有。

那。温柔的双手。

3:3o a.m

2010-03-06T11:10:00.000-08:00

Tik

Tok

Tik

Tok

Tik

Tok

Time flies... But I'm still not that fine... WHYY !! ?? ARGH..

According to the philosophy men , time heals ones' wound..

But Y arent my heart feeling a bit better ???...

Y Y Y Y ? ?

Its beeen so sooo soooooo a period eversince I met her!

Youre ruining my life, do u know that , My gurl???????

ahh 3a.m !!!!

2010-03-06T10:57:00.001-08:00

I CANT SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!

I CAN'T BEAR MYSELF THINKING OF HERRRRRRRRRRR !!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

YYYY RRRRR UUUUUU ALWAYSSSSSSS OOONNNNN MYYYY MINDDDDD !!!!!!!!

PLEASE !!

I DO NOT WANT MYSELF TURNING INTO A

A.......

A..........

A...................

A HOMO !!!..........

I think i might go on bloggggin....

UNTIL...

...

.......

...................

..............................

............................................

waohhh

2010-03-06T08:19:00.000-08:00

eeeeeee

eeeeeeeeeeeeeee

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Stairs are meant for accidents

and yes.. i know this much is true...

SO DAMN TRUE...

SO this is how it all started..

I woke up early in the morning..

Eyes rolling*

And next i found no one's at home..

And

I was speaking to myself while I was walking down the stairs.. (wondering Y am I home-alone)

LOL

The very next minute, I found myself landed on the floor.. Hahahahaha !!!

Thank goodnesss Im not injured..

WoWoWo.. *Lucky me*..

THIS WEEK IS DEFINITELY A DISASTER !!!

Let me recall `

First of all

I..

Got scolding by some sort of officer..

Next..

Three pimples popping out at the same time.. (even for now)

Then, I

Cut my finger(s) while i was halfway doing packaging in the office and hell, its fingers , not finger!

And now.. (worse comes to worst) ..

I FELL DOWN FROM STAIRS..

I bet as the day goes on,

I'll be deeply in pain & I suppose that i'll be pretty stiff after this..

Hahaha ! Well, there's always ups and downs in which ever path in life..

and I bet ... mine is just something minor... I mean ..REALLY MINOR !

DOUBT OF THE FALLING ! HAHAHAHA!... anyway, the stairs rolling

was more to a secret kind of act, haha.. none of my family mem knows bout it...

and of course ..Im glad that they did not! I never would want my fam to feel uneasy!

WowwooO.. Two More Weeks to Go, till the end of our industrial training which is on *March`2oth.

waiting..

Somehow, i know... Working iznt easy .. AT least it is not for me!!

PS: Life is good .... is gooddd.. is pretty good.. have a smile and shine through the day..

I miss

2010-03-04T19:35:00.000-08:00

Time: *11:35 a.m*

Location: *PDC*

Mood: *Sweeet, lil boring*

Dear ` Piggilie

Imma meeting you tonight..

Feeling so excited..

Its been months since I last hugged u..

How have you been?

What have you been up to lately?

You're pink,

and

I love it.

Youre somehow stinks,

though,

I adore it.

You do not speak much,

and for that

I appreciate it.

I wanna hug you through the night.

I wanna share my thoughts with you under the moonlight.

I want you to kiss me yet not saying goodbye.

I want us to hold each other tight.

Without any Hesitation Tonight!

Just wanted you to know ..

I love u as much as i love momo

Ps: just wanna be with you for eternity.

Hectic + joy

2010-02-25T09:13:00.001-08:00

Life During Internship

T for usher

My loving supervisor ( Miss Lydia )

Us - De trainees + Mr. Danny Loh @ penang port

Us , Mr.Danny Loh + Miss Parveena.. (colleague)

'' Everyone Started working ''

(handsome ehh) haha

Arrival of Queen Mary 2

Scenery + Me

6 A.M in the morning ...

.One Big Family.

Get closer .. closer to the truth

2010-02-25T07:40:00.000-08:00

Like my instinct says..

everything will be really fine..

Friendship could really last as long as we wish it could.

Yes, friends are forever, as it says... '' BFF ''..

Somehow,

Touches your heart within,

Do you really breathe that in??

Or you're just simply mentioning it due to all those

vul that your peeps usually does..

Doubt of all the above,

I'm me..

I shall put it this way..

I'm a girl living on earth eversince 19-90.

and im currently 20.

Yes, It seems long enough for one to gain understanding,

But again,

Read me..

Twenty years ive been,

Yet Throughout my live,

I've learnt nothing about frienship..

NOTHING ` !

Sounds really sorrow iznt it??

Im just so damn wrong in every single thought i had before this..

And for 20 years i've lead,

I found no one , as in a friend who listen to my heart''

one who could make me feel comfy being with..

& for that, i shall speak whenever i feel like speaking..

I need not to make known in any single case..

and by hook or crook it is understandable..

Do not hesitate to unfriend me

if you have ever felt embarrassed being with me..

undoubtedly,

there's always a key to a being,

and indeed,

true colour

is certainly

the key to a long lasting frienship...

Ps: yes, my msg was unquestionable, but it hurts..

& to another you, i'm sorry for hurting your bestfriend..

Till now ` words cant express what you (3) mean to me ''...

my apology , maybe its true.. I aint well in carrying myself...

im not presentable in public...

im over limit...

Somehow, you may stop me from speaking,

But you definitely have no control over my feelings..

I'm in love with you (3)..

If only you felt inappropriate asking me out when your .. is around..

No worries, i'm alright with that..

So long as youre inside me..

I do not mind a bit whether am i as important as you guys were to me...

Till the day we meet again ` .......

.Recalling. .our. .sweet. .memories. `

好多。。好多。。。说不出口的言语。。。

2010-02-17T10:24:00.000-08:00

此刻的我。。

。。

忽然之间

。。

感觉好孤单

。。

刚刚。。又有位朋友说

。。

我很自私

。。

什么都不想跟人家分享

。。

有什么心事

。。

都不肯说出口

。。

她们总觉得谈心事的朋友。。

。。

那样才算是好友

。。

也许吧。。也许。。我不是女生。。

。。

也不懂为什么

。。

我的想法。。

总是像男生那样的倔强。。

我也好想像我女性朋友那样。。

开心的。。

不开心的。。

什么都讲一餐。。

不过。。在我眼里，

心事，自己懂就好，就算说出来，也没人能帮到我。

也也许就只有我吧。。

我也知道。。永远都不会有人愿意。。

愿意来守护我。。

就因为这样，我也懂，我必须独立，

就算不能像她人有人守护，自己也可以照顾自己。。

我已二十出头了。。

还没谈过恋爱。。

可笑吧。。。。。。

所以。。。要学会过一个人过的生活。。

不靠父母。。。

自己工作。。。

不开心也好。。

自己也有本事处理。。

现在学会了独立，靠自己，守护自己，让自己开心。。

那样。。

就算以后自己有多么的不开心也好，

我想。。我一个人，是能熬得过来的。。

别人不懂。。我明白。。

但。。

我也很累解释。。。。。。

如果上天要他们明白。。。。总有一天。。他们。。。一定会。。。

我不想再解释。。。。。。。。。如果你们是我知心朋友。。。

我想。。。我不说。。你们也会懂。。

你们说我很自私。。。很好。。那就这样想吧。。

我是自私的。。。就算以后有困难。。

我也肯定不会找你们。。。

我一定不会。。。

因为。。

我很自私。。

此刻。。。。。

想了好多，好多。。

也许夜深了。。。。

脑袋里，总会。。。。。。。会想起以前。。。。

以前的不快乐。。

以前的童真。。。

以前的回忆。。。。

熊猫的我。。

2010-02-17T10:13:00.000-08:00

2:20a.m

18th February 20`10

很迟了，但我还是

睡不着。。。

怎么办呢？

keep blogging 直到我感觉 ‘爱睡’ 。。？？哈哈。。

Tedium

2010-02-13T05:48:00.000-08:00

Wonder why am I here :

And i dont really know what to do ...

Even for now..

AM i here to BLOG or something???

To fill up my boringness ..??

To share my current emotion ..??

.....?? Hell i dont know... Just feel like typing !!!

-its been four months- since i last updated..

And Yeah

Chao to 2oo9...

And to be exact, its 2010 february 13th..

Time flies...

as ive

Stopped schooling ,

Started internship ,

Grew older ,

Gained weight ,

Gained knowledge ,

Less outing ,

NO DATING ,

More working ,

.............................

this is how exactly my daily life is .....

wakin up early as in 7:15..

heading towards PDC ( a firm ) at 7:40

reaching at 8:05 (usually)

lunch at 1-2

ends at 5pm..

Dinner at 6:00..

- talking to myself - (7:00-9:00)...

Nap at 9pm..

once i open my eyes..

AGAIN .. rise and shine....

there goes my day ....

over and over again !!!!

No night life..

No outing..

No one calling me either.. (pathetic)

Well, during the weekends,

i usually spend my day at home.. SINCE NO ONE DATED ME !!!!!

AND WELL, NO ONE WILL DATE ME EITHER ! LOLLL !!!

Or else, i would .... i would .... go for a movie ... (ALONE)

hahaha.. well , it seems pathetic.. pitiful... somehow, doesnt really matter though. Im independent OK ...!

And hoosh ... its gonna be CNY , (the day after tonight **...)

Iznt it fast ? hmm...

still , im missin my rebrabra gang *... all of u ...

and of course, my sistas... =) - V & Y ..

the one thing...

one thing im now missin out of......

eversince........................

***...... someone .......

who doesnt have thoughts..

Everyone does for sure..

and when it comes to this particular thing........

... I could hardly breathe thinkin of **

...... but somehow, i knw, nothing cud change......

jus feelin kinda disappointed in ** ............

well.. ppl change as time passes by ............

De only thng th we cud do.....

Is to accept the fact...

well, im now trying real hard to be .....

To be

.....'' realistic '' , in order to let go things ...

in which th i shouldnt have hold onto..

Finally, ive made up ma mind...

in order to accept ..

accept the fact..

accept the truth ...

truth .... whereby u & me ..... could never

Never...

NEVER........

Neverrrrr..........

hold each other tight... as tight as how we used to be.......

-deep down...i just doesnt wanna trouble u-

HAHA... what a post !!!! ....

Last but not least ..

Me here wishin every of u....

''A''

Happy valentines.. - grettings to myself..

Happy Chinese New YEAR - grettings to ppl out there..

LET BYGONES BE BYGONES

2009-10-04T04:20:00.000-07:00

I just feel like expressing maself ...

October 4th `

Heaps of harship we have gone through ..
The bliss , the downs , and alot more ..
It's really impressive that i could just disremember it ..
Am I really that oblivious ? Or Am i actually taking awareness of this friendship ?

Every scene of us just stop appearing when the night falls ..
No doubt of me recalling ..
It never worked ..

It may be my very own problem , as i doesn't want myself to stick on with u people as much as how we used to be like before ..
Cos i knew , in which that I had over rely on you people ..
And im trying hard forcing myself not to MISS you guys ..!

OR

Is it all because of '' THE ONE AND ONLY YOU '' ???

.
.
.

( I doubt )

Eversince the day u started dating , u sort of being highly invisible -
Im not sure whether is it obvious ..
But what i am sure of is that ..
YOU CHANGED ..
The new you never seems to be acceptable ..
Well , it doesnt really make changes in me ..
But well ,
I strongly believe that this definitely makes a difference in '' _._._._ ''...

D.e.e.p Down , I'm unhappy seeing ''Her Upset'' ..
Because she is my sis ..

I bring no offence to all by posting this ..
If you n you n you happen to read through ..
(hopefully you could .. kinda '' have some sympathy on us ''
Just sort of begging you to '' come back ' ..
What is wrong with you ..

We have no idea ..

*However , im fortunate though ,
At least i have the rest of them ... V & Y !
I Love You 2*

* SIGH *

buhzie week.

2009-07-31T06:04:00.000-07:00

BUSY

WEEK

0-STURDY WHEEK-0 !!

UNTIL ONE PERFECT TUESDAY 'July 28th' !!!

The moment i stepped into my house ..

( back frm college examination )
DAD MENTIONED :
Hey , lets go and have a look at camry . Since yre so tempted !!
Me said : Huh .. thn yr Merz ler ?
Dad : Its ok , we'll have it next yr ,
'mid of 2010.'
-YEEHA !! THEREFORE .....
.
.
.

Off we went to visit My dream car !
AAHH !!!

The result was that ,

dad & mom decided to wait

for the new version of camry .

'Will be available only in the month of November'.

Cant wait.

DAD BOOKED !
WOOHOO !!

HAHAHA

Im too excited ..

until ive almost forgotten about my exam ..

HAHA..

-
-
-
-

Anyway ..

exam has ended ..

Which means ,

i'm now holiday-ing ..

Honeymoon week. yeehaaK !

Eventually ,

I'll be Oinking

all day long..

As ive mentioned earlier..

Sleeping is my hobby..

SO dont judge me.. haha

-chao-

-tat`x all for dis week-

-cya next week-

current mood: Up to everything!

-just another ordinary post here-

2009-07-22T09:40:00.000-07:00

Its 10 minutes to 1:30am..

Why am I here..
I too have no idea..
Blogging is sort of a boring thing to do..
Yet I insist to come log in..
Insane me !!

Frankly , i shud be now revising, as exam is coming real soon.
AS IN THE COMING MONDAY !!!!

OKAY , FUCK MY MIND !!!!
Im Poor In memorising ..
WELL DONE !!!!
IM SO NOT READY TO SIT FOR THE EXAM ~~~
ALTHOUGH , Ive COVERED quite a number of chapter...
But this couldnt help much..
AS IN 3 chapters OUT OF 14 !!!
.................. SPEECHLESS aint??.........................
LALALA!!

ANyway ..
De.KNS did actually plan for a trip down to genting .
Few wanted to go for a vacation IN LANGKAWI !!!

*...Guess im off to genting...*
*...It took me weeks deciding either one of it...*
However , ive made up my mind ,
OFF WE GO TO GENTING!
HAHAHA..

The main reason was , dad dislike ''us'' siblings to actually play near beaches ..
And furthermore , there wouldnt be much for us to do..
AS ITS VERY OBVIOUS .. ''LANGKAWI''..
it could only reminds me of ''PANTAI'' !!

DODODODO!~!
Approximately 10 of us..
4 couples .. 3 singles..
WHAT A NUMBER.. Lol..

Argh , These ppl with their partners..
ISH.. interrupting.. HAHA !!
Guess i am the one disturbing the group..LALALA
Well, im noisy and so on ..
Tho,They pleased me for joining!
hhahaha..
OMG !! I so meng-importantkan myself..-
KAKAKA
Zzz..
(''Blush'')

Hmm.. Actually i wasnt planning to join netheir of them..
AS Its clear enough ,in which tht im avoiding hard being a lampost 2 friends around..
Especially when there was none you could see who is a single.
And you could only realise urself as in ONE BY URSELF..
OKAY..
PLS KILL ME..
IN FACT, Im so not used to actually see my budds * getting miang * .
Hahahaa..
WOOO... I ended up joining..
AHA.. sickening..

**ALright its almost my time**
Gueeszz thats all for now !

PS:
I MISS U PPL!!
Goodluck everyone..especially ''DE KNS''
Study hard, You'll gain better..
Chao budds.

A post meant for you & you !

2009-07-21T08:53:00.000-07:00

^ July 21st ^
Xiao Toong's burthday. Not to miss out our Uncle Jian.. aka..Mr.Wei Jian! =x

-A burthday song dedicated to You & You -

Happy Burthday To YOU !
Happy Burthday To YOU !
Happy Burthday To TOONG & JIAN !!!
Happy Burthday , YoU TWO !!!!

-Wishing u guys all da best in the years coming.
-May =GOD= Bless You ..

-And a Long-Lasting relationship , with my sister , and also my cousin brother !! Muahahaha

A picture i've edited.
-Venue- : Breeks
Occasion : Toong's Bday celebration.

-
-
-

!US!

PIC OF THE DAY

-
-

MAKE SURE Yur're 18 & ABOVE !!!
IF YU ARENT ,
PLS DO NOT CONTINUE SCROLLING YOUR MOUSE !!!
MAHAHAHA!!

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

- BOOM -

Thanks to the professional photographer

REBECCA LIM !!!
HAHAHA!

OOH !!
WELCUM !
WELCUM !!

I'm SS-ing
-
-
You dun understand ?
-
-
STill dun get it ??
-
-
FINE !!
-
-
Ill tell u !!
-
-
SS-ing .. which means ...''Syok sendiri''!

我的好友

2009-07-18T00:10:00.000-07:00

jia lin

jia lin ,我较好的朋友，在韩江学院里，真心对待他人的朋友真的没几个，也许是我的问题，
也或许这就是学院里的生活，怎么样都好，我很荣幸认识她，经常有说有笑的我们，
也常聊心事，谢谢你，有你这朋友，我生活精彩得多。

siew lee

siew lee ,认识她大概快要一年了。一开始，直到昨天，我们就像好友那样的，
什么都笑一餐。但直到了昨天，我们彼此有了小小的摩擦，原来，她跟她的姐妹们，
是如此的看待我。虽然那句话，真的让我对她彻底的失望，但算了，我会把我们曾经的快乐，
一起大笑的那时刻，放在心里。不过我想，我再也不会跟她那么的靠近了，因为我看透了，
原来，表面和内心，不会是一致的。对她而言，她姐妹所说的，都会是真的。
而我，又算得了什么。。。。。

jolyn

jolyn ,跟她一开始，真的是太要好了，或许就像我所说的，真心的没几个，
渐渐的，我们之间有了距离感，也许她不常产跟我们吧，就这样，到现在，
都已一个月没有好好的坐下来说话了。也或许是因为她有了别的朋友吧。
虽然如今，我们不再产在一起，不过，我还是把她当作为我好友，毕竟，
在我最不开心时，是她，陪在我身边，聆听我心声。

xiao toong , yu han

她们是个不错交的朋友。对我来说，她们都蛮漂亮的。最重要的，她们又瘦又上镜。
跟他们在一起差不多要一年的时间了，玩着，笑着，一起庆祝生日，一起上课，那些感觉，
都还不错。不过，她们都是有男有的女生，所以比较没有多余的时间掺在一起。
因为大部分时间都是陪男友。朋友嘛，当然是上课时，或者是沉闷时的伴侣啊。
哈哈。。明白的。。但她们是真的蛮好的朋友！！

yee fern

以前，总觉得她这个人真的很无话可说，以为自己是大姐大，什么都要听她的，
而总在人家背后，说她人的坏话。不过，最近，常产跟她，感觉也蛮不错的。
我在想，若她不再是那么的大小姐脾气，性格改一些，我想，我们的友谊是可以长久的。
毕竟，她为人，比较真实。说的话，或许会伤害他人，不过，在某些事情方面，
会显得是好事。

maggie

她和yeefern是超好朋友，所以有时不太想跟她们一起出去，
因为总会觉得自己好像的外人似的，他们说的话总是听不明白，
觉得好尴尬。但这个sem,开始觉得，原来她这个人很随和，很好玩。我笑时，
她会陪我笑，考试卷也帮我复印了一份。原来我错了，表面不关心你的人，
才是最关心你的人。

vivien，yeng , cutie

跟她们，尤其是vivien是较属于谈心事的朋友，平常时都不太会产在一起，
也许是因为她们三个是很要好的朋友，就很随时的产在一起。除了做assignment的时候，
否则她们也不太会叫我一起出去玩，或等等之类的吧。不过，她们跟jolyn和siewlee是蛮好的。
我想她们出去时，都会经常叫她们两个出去。就只有我吧。。哈哈。。
不过，我还是很高兴认识她们三个，她们为人很真，不属于说别人后面话的人。
有时，就因有她们，才能让我笑得那么大声。我很荣幸，也很感谢她们。

- De.Kns - Cheek chaak.. Smile my hunnies.. -

2009-07-12T07:50:00.000-07:00

Been really hectic throughout the 14th week.
Although , my College life has been extremely wonderful with the existent of you people.. -

I'm bliss-
&
-I'm glad of being one-

-
-

-
-

-
-

-
-

-
-

: Lastly :
A very thanks to My buddy
Mr.SPonGebob !

i love u i love u i love
You're yellow..
And you're cute!
Haha..

tempted to blog ..
therefore I'm here..
hasnt been bloggin these days..
Hasnt been on9ing since then..
Hasnt been going out v my sisters either..

A very hello to :

yin
vien
mel

-i've been missing u guys terribly-
sorry for not keeping in touch with you guys ever since june
It has been a month ..
how is things going??
Im leading a very good life here..
Haha.. As if im dying !
Argh..
Okay..
So..
.
.
.
.
I miss u ppl.
I too wanna go clubbing !
hahahaa

Huggiesx**
Take care all right !!!
Muacks..

=DD

Drunken

2009-06-26T10:16:00.000-07:00

Lil Drunk -
Nthg much -

Feeling lil dizzy ..
Feeling lil cossy ..
Its you ..
That could only occupy my mind ..
And its you
Who ended up saying goodbye ..
Everyone passes by ,
with at least a 'HI'
Yet you ..
With nothing but a fast walk by .
Im not expecting for a kiss goodbye ..
Just to tell you ,
You'll always be the one that keeps me alive !

Currently : 2:20a.m
i ,
wonder why ..
-im here missin no-one ,
-tho ,
-feeling something's not right !

Shooting + Outing

2009-06-26T08:48:00.000-07:00

H.E.L.L.O

2009-06-26T08:39:00.000-07:00

A very h.e.l.l.o To you , you and YOU !
It has been quite some time since i last updated my blog .
Life here has been really hectic .
Although , I'm feeling extremely happy ..
As college life is getting better and better ..
As in ...

My friends around...
They were being very supportive ..
In almost every aspect i could mention..

And so on so forth ..

==J.u.n.e 26th==
- Comm Theory -
- Segafredo - {Pulau Tikus}
- Pics - Refer to the up coming post -

2009-06-08T09:04:00.000-07:00

W A N N A

F U C K I N G
D Y E
M Y
H A I R

!!!!

ooooooo

2009-06-06T07:01:00.000-07:00

Early In the Morning ..

Went to college for clip shooting ..
It ended at 11 ..
Few went home ..
And left the rest of us ..

Thus ,
Our planning was to
Pay a visit To GASOLINE ...

***
A day at Time square .
Reaches around 1 pm .
Plenty of parking lots available .
And what more ...
It is free ...
Ooh .. PerfecTooO !

Way down ...
Ive no comment towards the contractor upon the designation of the parking lots .
It is worst to the worst .
Its extremely cramp .
Its over confusing .
Its damn Squarry .
Okay .. ^ cut the thing short ^ ..
It'S TERRIBLE !!!

-
0
-

ANYWAY
we then blah off to Gasoline .
L.O.L

I doubt we were quiet .
haha..

1 hour walk in niceday !!
OMG !
As if there's only a shop existing In Time square..
We were inappropriate ..
Haha..
PPl .. u knw wat i mean !!

Jia Lin
Jolyn
Siew lee
Sim wei
Wei chien
and
I

__The sub__
**
Pei san
Yu han
Ps Bf
Xiao toong {Gone elsewhere}

The precious present from those i love

2009-06-05T02:33:00.000-07:00

Thanks alot ...
So much i could say ...
But it would be nice for me to just keep it to myself ...

Words just couldnt be enough for me to express my feelings towards all of you ...

I love every single piece of it ...
EVERY PIECE I MEAN ...

And of course ...
To my family ...
My friends ...
My buddies ...
My Closest mate ...
and one that i could never forget ...
*You're always in my heart* ...

Well ,
Deep down knowing you'll never get to read my posts ...
Though ,
Hoping you to know ...
You're very proud for me to show ...

LAST BUT NOT LEAST ...
I LOVE YOU PPL ...

If there's any missunderstanding ...
Im here to apologise ...
Thus ,
please to have no hard feelings ...
...
...

=DD

3RD belated celebration - Replacing May 29th

2009-06-05T02:00:00.001-07:00

Yin
Vien
Mel
Daniel
Linny
Chris

2ND Advanced celebration - Replacing May 29Th -

2009-06-05T02:00:00.000-07:00

May 24Th
Martini Restaurant

**

Thanks a lot , Buddies..
I'm really really touched of what u guys have did -

Frankly , i thought that's the end after that day's celebration.

Who knows..
Second gang of mine here -
Been planning on today's bash party ever since May 18th -
Of course , without my knowing ,
the thing still does work out smoothly -
Although I've been fooled once again -
Hahaha !!
It is A pretty Good Lie after all -
And with a few beautiful liars -

.Lee.

.Jolyn.

.Joanne.

.Lin.

.Nicole.

.Pei Xin.

.Me.

Some pics taken At Martini -

1ST Advanced celebration -Replacing May 29Th-

2009-06-05T01:57:00.000-07:00

-Vien
-Cutie
-Yin
-Jo
-Kor kor =XX
-Me

Thanks buddies ,
You all :
Are the sweetest bluffer ever .

Thursday - I was told to go for the PR interview section due to the assign thingy -
Just because of that -
I was asked to drive all the way down to that cosy restaurant - 'Louis Cafe'

And Yet to know that theres a purpose behind -
Which was to celebrate my birthday before i fly - (flying on the May 27Th)
I'm really touched -
I'm glad i have u guys by my side -
Its really nice to feel surprise -
Singing birthday song to me -
And with the berry cake's lighting -
And of course the present *ceremony* -

*Thanks A lot*
I love you guys As much as words could describe -

There's always something behind u guys -
Which to makes me feel happier every time -

feeling lost - still im smiling.

2009-05-21T07:38:00.000-07:00

Time passes real fast ..

It's may once again.
Although.
I could feel my instincts.
And my six sense speaks thoroughly.
Every piece inside shuffles within my mind.
Telling me repeatedly.

''Things ain't gonna be the same.''
''Friends are just a panadol in vain.''
''You'll have to convince yrself to give and take.''
''For reality is always being fake.''
''
.
.
.

To be frank .
For the time being .
Everything seems so wrong .
I doubt myself of feeling ease .
Even when I'm hanging en masse .
Still .
I couldnt stop myself from trembling .
Cus there's none i could trust to warm my palm .

And when everyone's asleep .
Here goes ..
Star upon ..
I talk with..
How I wish the shooting star could strikes
significants in decision I made throughout my life.

Am i being too engross?
Or I'm just twisted inside..

----Eight more days to my day----
----Yet , there's nothing much i could say----
----How realistic this world could actually be----
----I doesnt want myself to write a speech----
----But i'm really sad thinking over it----