She will never be the apple in your eye.
She's down ~
So dull ~
Its been awhile..
despite of the time being..
to you, she's not good in a sense..
It doesn't matter if ppl dislike,
the one and only person she mind is you..
But the night just crashed.
She realized, she can never be the one you wish to have..
The one whom you've been dreaming of all this while..
She miss your kisses, your praise, your compliment,
Though she tried it so hard,
She has changed, to be different, to make u feel better being with,
Tonight, the dream just crashed..
Shes down.. She can never smile like before,
She knew she cant ~
No one will ever appreciate her. No one can feel the difference of her being her. No one can touches the inner her.
This is the night where hearts broken and no one here to ease.
Ive no idea if this happens on couple often..
Or is it only me..
While de other party's having wild fun..
the way they talk seems..
or maybe its me whos thinking negatively..
They somehow seems as if dey were rushing for something..
wanting to just hang ur call up n go off..
Is it that im embarrassing..?
they just kinda .. dis-remember u?
Friends around often says,
when one is around v friends,
they will 'definitely' abandon their love ones.
And this isn't true love.
I never gt to understand this particular theory ..(all dis while)..
And guess what...
I just DiD.
i guess whenever im v friends..
ill excuse myself for making one or two calls..
whether to send regards,
whether to talk shit,
whether to just check upon dem,
Somehow, I will.
Star.. wud u listen once again??
I thought , time could heal ones wound.
I thought , it is all fated as to depart from our love ones.
I thought , it is alright , so long as .. is pleased.
I thought , keeping myself busy could stop myself from remembering.
I thought , somehow , someday , things will fall in place.
I thought , nothing stays the same as time passes by.
I thought , chances and fate would come to me one fine day.
I thought , being the real me would make myself happier.
I thought , misunderstanding will divulge someday.
I thought , i will gain happiness if only i act like one.
I thought , it is more than enough to have no one other than myself.
I thought , i will be fine leading myself without any companion.
I thought , what matter most isn't companion, but myself.
I thought , i would never thought of being depress.
if only i have a listener here right beside.
Someone calling me up
to at least send me their best regards
Someone could touches my heart
Someone sees through my mind
Someone could understand me without me explaining
I have a someone who will never misjudge me, from the very beginning
How i wish i could turn back time
I wanna be an infant
nothing to worry of
being bubbly , contented all time
New life started (GAMESS)..
I have no idea if im de one and only whos having such a thought,
'wanting to die'... ha ha ha ( well , it aint that funny after all )... =((
What am i thinking???
why am i hving such a thought.. (i'm thinking still)
i know, it sounded as if im a nuisance.
but truly, life ere has been reallllly reallllly meaningless...
Three specific schedule daily !!!!
As it clearly stated **Ive no direction in life....
deep down...i know myself well, ( BEYOND WELL IN FACT ),
I know what i want,
as to continue with my degree...
as to continue degree in singapore...
as to start applying...
as to go for a body check-up...
Talkin upon on that...
im beyond obese...
how am i suppose to put off in such a short period of time...
in fact, i know im unable to...
thus, de only thing im able to do is to..."" ignore "".. hahah
Time passes real fast,
college ended for almost 2 weeks (if im not mistaken)
as ive mentioned earlier
my life has been really reallly pathetic
i'm now sort of like ...(friendless)
As ive predicted
that the end of college will somehow change my way of living
so called friends are no more friends
they too have their life to lead and to be worry on
and i bet i will not be as important as like their **TRUE FRIEND**
In fact, im not one of anyone's good friend... (okay, dis is a lil confusin) haha
As a conclusion...
friends around are absolutely (NOT SINGLE)
they have their ** cupid lying on...
im living de other way round....
YES *IM EXTREMELY SINGLE
*EVERSINCE DE DAY I WAS BORN*
LIVING IN MY so called -LITTLE LITTLE WORLD-..
no one can even feel me .... (HAHA)
Ive been watching movie all by myself thrice a week...
Window-shopping with me myself twice a week...
playing games every single day to spare my loneliness...
( guess thats y im here blogging )...
ive got nothing else better to do... SERIOUSLY !!!!
People might think this way , in which th bloggin is mainly to increase *popularity*,
encouraging their peer group to have a clearer picture on what he or she is up to,
Nah, to me, its more likely to be a free-space.. for one to fill up their boringness.
whereas to increase popularity
* we have here .. the FACEBOOK .. iznt it ?? XD
i dont consider or to see myself that unlucky lah !
At least , i have my family members here accompanying me everyday XD
Love dem to bits ... !!
daddy buying me Nike shoe..
mommy preparing my meals..
sister playing games with me...
* missing my brother (down in australia)
they're my very 1st priority...
maybe i take no one else that necessary ... =)
ill be furthering my studies next year.. (january to be exact)..
Leaving penang behind * as a memory of mine *..
two years.. (SHORT RIGHT?)
how i wish i could just lead the entire life of mine in singapore ..
or probably NewYork... haahaaa..
parents being a PR in NY.. iznt it nice ? iznt it amazing? iznt it wonderful..?
HAHAHA .... =DD yeah, they did mention that previously ...
hopefully they have their commitment on path...
Wooouu... its now 5pm
Still i'm ere lying on bed... typing !!! ..
hmm.. guess thats all for now... bye rebecca lim ( haha , insane me , talking to myself )...
errrr... dont mind me... this is what happens when one falls beyond boredom...
haha okay .. thats all seriously !!.. haha
(is conquering my mind)
(i guess its all a lie)
(no one ever called up for a HI?)
(none of you ever ask me why)
(is killing me inside)
(I found no one to rely)
(They are no longer mine)
(i tried hard not to cry)
(i'm puzzled all inside)
(could you read my mind?)
(i have you throughout the night)
(its time to say goodbye)
(thanks for cheering me up all the time)
[I guess, its time for me to decide..
Whether to stay or to say goodbye..
Its ok for me to fly..
Since.. Im 24/7 unaided
True friends i couldn't find..
I could learn to be a little more stereotype..
*friends are harsh,
ill always bare this in mind..
*people are unkind
ill keep this phrase in mind..]
Boring . Rotting . Rusting . Dulling
i did something childish (at home)
im being deadly bored to death
But the result actually shocked me out..
Its nice right? hahahaha..
Yes It is !
Im so proud of myself out of a sudden..
(haha) no doubt
as im good in writing my chinese name .. (waoh)
its so nice.. ahm *hungry hungry*.. feel like eating dem up !
*ps-my sistas, u guys are inside lerh* wou!